after that incidence..
being angry n really2 angry..
i learn to understand the situation better..
but then..
i know..
there is a big change..
i dun know what i thought from what had happen is correct or not..
i wanted to tell everything..
wanted to clarify..
but i'm afraid of everything..
afraid of loosing..
afraid of the reality..
afraid that i loose my trust..
afraid that he probably wont make anything to gain my trust..
afraid to be hate..
although..every reality i had foreseen it..
just i was so afraid to face it..
my ego just wont let me.

i was never the first..n will never be..
so its not a big deal for him..
but then..
that scares me the most..

the changes also include..
the feelings that i had..
slowly fading..
i dun wanna let go..
but i guess..
when the time comes..
letting go is better..
n i know i am more open up to others this time..

we never really started as friends or couples..
both were looking for someone..
im looking for starlight..
he was looking for a fren to console..
ended up this way..
will friendship be the best solution..??
perhaps after sometimes..
we can..
but ..

there is no relationship without trust..

with or without..both brings pain..

but then..
what should we do?

i guess..
i need to start a search for the next starlight..
it will be damn hard..
to gain my trust ..
for more than friend..
it is just so hard..

i know that there will be a day i will find the one..

what i know..i want the best..

for the next two years..just enjoy my college life i guess..

there are a lot of stars..
there can be many starlights for the whole life..
but only one will remain n be the sunshine of my life~

p/s: for am deeply in LOVE with JIMMY LIN..=p